TEENAGERS growing up in a world full of unrealistic requirements in relationships — I feel y’all are going too far. As you scroll through social media daily, you will find that most people require their ideal partners or spouses to be perfect, yet it is an unrealistic image they created in their heads. Most want a man to be six feet or taller or a girl to be slimmer than a door frame.
Teenagers want their partners to be emotionless during arguments, which causes a lot of hatred towards the other person. They want a healthy fulfilling relationship with their dream spouse, but they aren’t dating to be with the person for a lifetime.
Most teenagers are looking for their future spouse to be a famous football player or a cheerleader with the perfect nose. Most teenagers are going into a relationship wanting a higher status or an emotional buddy — something that they’re lacking in their own selves.
As a teenage girl growing up in this generation, I have found that you can walk around halls after seeing couples making out or couples wearing matching outfits, which don’t get me wrong, is fun and a good experience. We have set this standard for relationships only limited to being fun, exciting, and beneficial for our own needs.
As a person not in a relationship, you can surround yourself with unrealistic expectations for yourself, and you might find yourself changing your appearance or even your standards based on a popular high school couples’ example.
As a person who has been in a relationship, and as a teenager, I have filled my mind with things I want and expect in my partner. I think it’s good to set standards for future needs and to know what’s best for you, but don’t demand standards of perfect appearance and mindset.
I think most girls want their boyfriends’ passwords for everything and their notifications to always alert them. I feel most men want their girlfriends to look a certain way or not to have guy best friends. As a person who has been in a few relationships, I have learned that always expecting your relationship to be like everyone else’s and setting irrational requirements can worsen the connection. I
n my past relationships, we have argued over each other’s locations, being turned off, or each other not mentally acting a certain way in a situation. We have set standards for each other to fulfill the things that, as a person, we lack. I feel like sometimes, people almost expect their partner to cheat on them or hurt them in certain ways. My advice from this teenage perspective if not to let any bestie or boo control who you are friends with, what goals you set, or what you choose to do in your life because you deserve to feel fully yourself in any relationship.
If you are in a relationship, you should be able to trust your partner without a location, without a password, and without things that satisfy your own misguided trust issues.
Don’t stop being you or doing what makes you happy and remember that it’s not your partner’s job to fix your self-issues. Know your place and remember to prioritize your self-worth.
