Unrealistic expectations can make dating tricky


Love is “commitment and having fun,” Karina said. While Adan thinks it’s all about “keeping it real.”

Ivan Padilla, Reporter

TAKING a long walk or looking out of a car window while listening to romantic music is the perfect way to get the old longing machine in the heart running. Personally, some Frank Sinatra really pulls at the old four chamber.

Finding someone to spend the rest of life with is an overwhelming and intimidating thing to think about for some people. For others, it is a practice in wishful thinking that prince charming or the perfect girl will come along at the perfect moment. Well… that’s not really how dating goes down. There is a lot more uncertainty and chance involved.

Being happy with someone does not mean they are the best. Happiness is a good measure of a good relationship, but there are levels of happiness. If two people are in a relationship and happy, that does not mean they could not be happier. If that is true, then how can anyone be sure that their best friend’s girlfriend isn’t the one!?

Well, settling is something we all have to do to an extent. A couple who has never fallen in love before, with another person, statistically, will not be the best match. Now some snooty teen will say that their love is special and unique, and no one can tell them otherwise, and it may be, but it’s probably not. For those who are afraid they will die alone, mathematicians surprisingly have a way of solving this.

It is referred to as the “Sultan’s Dowry Problem.”  According to The Washington Post article When to Stop Dating and Settle Down According to Math, the magic number is 37%. The Sultan’s problem is set up with the knowledge of how many partners the individual will have, and once the relationship is over, there is no going back.

If the individual is going to have 10 partners, they date the first four with the intention of learning what they want in a relationship. Then, after those four, they settle with the next person who is better than anyone else they have dated.

The problem is that no one knows how many partners they will have. In that case the most reasonable way to solve this problem is by applying that same magic 37% figure to time.

Set a time that the individual wants to be settled down and married, say 28. If they start dating when they are 18, then do a little math (Wow, math is everywhere!), and figure out what 37% of the dating life is and date around for that time. Finally, after that, settle with the next person better than anyone else. Boom, happy life.

Except that there are caveats to this. Using this method of dating does not guarantee a perfect partner. Just like anything, there is a degree of randomness. What if all the people during the dating around period are duds? Well, it is just a risk undertaken when meddling with the complex thing we call love.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to finding a partner and no one way to go about dating. Some people marry their high school sweetheart and live a happy life. Some people never find a partner. There are many situations that may not be favorable, and some people are just unlucky, but no one deserves anything.

Understand that it may not happen, but there are ways to increase the chances that it will happen. Keep those hopes up; it is worth it.