“We gotta stop this jaywalking?”

“What level of weeb are YOU on?”

“Baka, baka, real.”

“We’re going to the nearest orphanage and fake adopting a child.”

“Skin licking.”

“Eyes, please.”

“I might be ugly.”

“The perfect amount of wiggle.”

“I love when my soda has a doctorate’s degree.”

“Don’t eat me!”

“He can do, uh, an acting show.”

“This is what Gary needs!”

“Or, maybe it’s just ‘cause I’m not attracted to guys.”

“The crazy thing is my wife will go and look at me like makes face”

“Only thirty costume changes!”
“Pull the jacket off!”

“This is the detonator.”

“I honestly wish I could get chairs that have wheels.”

“I can hear the TV!”

“Men don’t hit puberty!”

“I don’t blame her verdict.”

“That’d be a day where he don’t got a life.”

“Oh man, I forgot about the babies.”

“Then why do you keep asking me to call you a b?!”

“I feel like death.”

“My sister has ADHD, right? I don’t even know what was goin’ on.”

“Bees make me laugh, bro.”

“I have to complete my pregnancy packet.”

“I’m just gonna skip a tire.”

“I jinxed my ramen!”

“YOU were trying to kiss him.”

“I’m goin’ to like, fry him.”

“You inked his hair.”

“‘Cause he’s sucking in the back of the classroom.”

“Definitely got a whole leg.”

“Bro, we got a 1.6 KD over here.”

“Saw all of a random guy’s IG.”

“Aww heck naw, he got like two girls on the side.”

“Crap upwards.”

“And he’s like, JEEZ! You need Jesus!”

“That’s so homo sapien of you.”

“Get a bus!”

“I hate it when the floor does that.”

“My wedgie hurts.”

“It also muffles my screams.”

“I forgot what an 8-ball is.”

“No offense to old people.”

“Why would anyone choose Kevin?”

“The funeral was nice, after we got Kevin.”

“One was a pumpkin, one was my skeleton.”

“I made up a religion for my book.”

“It’s not like I’m gonna explode if I eat a Big Mac.”

“I want to know if he absolutely hates me.”

“Everything is blocking me from having a girlfriend.”

“Did you bring your inflatable dinosaur?”

“My peet are asleep!”

“I’m just a generic Waldo.”

“Why did we go the long way?”

“He’s like, don’t get in other’s business, but I tell her everything.”

“I wanna do woodwork!”

“Is your butt fat?”

“I’m willing to sit through Elf: The Musical.”

“I’ll pay a dollar for that phone.”

“Is that a Zyn pouch?”

“I like violence.”

“Dang, I’m a very sad individual.”
“That’s not my name!”

“My Sam’s stuck.”

“Does that little one know?”

“I think it was his mom that did that.”

“He was in a CHAIN!”

“I can’t tell whether or not the ground is wet.”

“Gentlemen, it’s time to do some work.”

“Who’s fake toenail is here?”

“Gotta put all my clothes back on.”

“Just got a faceful of butt.”

“She looks like a hippie.”

“Bruh, she looks like a noob. THIS is your opp?”

“It’s too hot for snow.”

“I love the balls in my hair.”

“Oh my god, you’re so slow.”

“I’m gonna water my cat.”

“And my brother was STANDING behind me.”

“I don’t wanna lose 10% of my money!”

“Why did we go over here?”

“He can’t word cause he’s a little dumb.”

“What about the Beatles?”

“I wanted to talk to her, but SHE was on maternity leave.”

“This whole school’s dead.”

“My little lungs can’t handle it!”

“You’re supposed to swim like a fish.”

“I speedrun eating.”

“When I’m here, please pretend you’re seniors.”

“Stop squirting on people!”

“He doesn’t even get a gatorade with the car.”

“Did I show you the Deadpool photos?”