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Tri-Color Times

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Lancers are not alone in the struggle with divorce

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ONE OF THE hardest things any child or human could go through is their two parents deciding that being together isn’t working for them. Divorce is a very hard subject to talk about with a lot of people, but Granger Lancers are here to let others know that they are not alone.

Most would never know that the person sitting next to them might be going through the same thing, including divorce, figuring out where they are in the family, and whose home they will be going to first. Sometimes it even affects grades and school life.

Divorce can ruin someone’s relationship with friends. “The divorce between my parents affected my relationships, because I would go to my dad’s house during the summer and I had no friends,” Kayla Skaurud (12) said. “I was only two when they got divorced, but it was not a negative impact on my life. It was a very positive thing to have happened to me.”

It may not be an easy thing to go through as a child, a teenager, or at any point in someone’s life. Luckily we have amazing resources around us at any given time. Granger’s social worker Craig Kaluhikaua is just one of the many sources of help in the school.

If coping is something difficult, Kaluhikaua has so much advice for our Lancers. “If there is a stable parent, no research says that a good parent should have their child choose sides, or talk bad about the other parent to the child,” Kaluhikaua said.

Tension between parents and their child can be reduced. “If it is beginning to cause mental issues with the child such as anxiety, depression, or bad grades, probably get outside help. There are so many resources you can acquire with so many different ways of helping,” Craig Kaluhikaua said.

“My parents’ divorce was a pretty positive outcome in my life. My dad wasn’t really the best to my family, so when they parted ways, it made our family better,” Brandi Trane (11) said.

There are so many different sources any Lancer can use, such as going to a divorce group, usually lasting about six to eight weeks, and having a friend to vent to – maybe one that has gone through something similar. Keeping busy so they’re not thinking about it too much and maybe even serving others can also help.

There is always going to be a teacher around willing to help with coping. Every child has the right to go through the grieving process, but there is always a point where the grieving becomes too much and becomes unhealthy. Students should visit one of their counselors or a teacher they feel safe telling their personal business to.

The kidsturn.org website is a helpful source to help not just the students cope, but the parents as well. This website includes workshops, family resources, practitioners, as well as a blog and an online program.

Lancers are not alone in this. Everything will be OK. It is just a bump in the road that they’ll get past. Students should make sure they ask for help while going through this battle. It is not a fun battle to go through alone.

 

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an open forum for student expression
Lancers are not alone in the struggle with divorce